eat the stalks: they'll put hairs on your chest

I am thinking of applying for a crazy internet stalker. All the cool guys have one - why shouldn't I? I could do with some obsessive email telling me that I write exactly the words that thier dog is transmitting telepathically. I'd appreciate the attention, and the site could do with the traffic too. (Currently most of my traffic comes from Canada - Hello Canada.)

So, if you're at a loose end, perhaps slightly delusional - why not apply? I can offer the following benefits:

1) I will read all your emails and possibly forward them to my friends.
2) I may reply to your emails, though admittedly I will probably become Too Cool once I have you.
3) Given the limited nature of the traffic on this site, you will get a high ratio of comments.
4) In other words: you can dominate my box.
5) I may be able to introduce you to other crazy stalker-types from other blogs.

Looking at the above it all looks so good that I may have to stalk myself.

In other news: today I caught a colleague googling me. Thank FUCK my name isn't on this site anywhere. (Though...maybe she'd like to stalk me?)