Friday, June 02, 2006

birthday girl

It's my birthday.

With the exception of the annual 'Oh no not another year older' dread (which seems to start six months into my year recently), I always think that birthdays are a jolly good idea about a month or so before the event, at which point I start making grandiose plans for nights out. About a fortnight later I realise that grandiose just isn't on the cards and come up with sensible plans involving nice people. I then settle in and begin looking forward to the event.

Two days before the event I generally change my mind and decide that socialising with others in groups is deeply stressful and I've made a terrible mistake in organising stuff because it's all going to be awful.

So, at this point I am currently wishing it were any day other than June 2nd. I fancy July 1st right now, and am in fact planing a small party (just ponder if you will for the moment the fact that I am distracting myself from my social anxiety by planning a social event. I really am completely bonkers, aren't I?).

I will keep reminding myself that I felt precisely the same last year and in the end I had a completely lovely time with my friends. I am sure that this evening will be no different but let's pretend for a moment that it's all about someone else's advancing years.

Conveniently, I have a friend whose birthday also falls today, and I owe him a wish of the birthday, so Happy Birthday Gareth!

Let's all hope that Gareth has a lovely day and pretend that I was thirty bloody nine several weeks ago.