birthday girl

It's my birthday.

With the exception of the annual 'Oh no not another year older' dread (which seems to start six months into my year recently), I always think that birthdays are a jolly good idea about a month or so before the event, at which point I start making grandiose plans for nights out. About a fortnight later I realise that grandiose just isn't on the cards and come up with sensible plans involving nice people. I then settle in and begin looking forward to the event.

Two days before the event I generally change my mind and decide that socialising with others in groups is deeply stressful and I've made a terrible mistake in organising stuff because it's all going to be awful.

So, at this point I am currently wishing it were any day other than June 2nd. I fancy July 1st right now, and am in fact planing a small party (just ponder if you will for the moment the fact that I am distracting myself from my social anxiety by planning a social event. I really am completely bonkers, aren't I?).

I will keep reminding myself that I felt precisely the same last year and in the end I had a completely lovely time with my friends. I am sure that this evening will be no different but let's pretend for a moment that it's all about someone else's advancing years.

Conveniently, I have a friend whose birthday also falls today, and I owe him a wish of the birthday, so Happy Birthday Gareth!

Let's all hope that Gareth has a lovely day and pretend that I was thirty bloody nine several weeks ago.